I was born to a Muslim father and a Buddhist mother, and was brought up to follow both religions. At the age of 17, through a friend of mine I was introduced to Christianity. I felt a great simple affinity to this religion and turned to it, much to my father's horror. However, I felt a connection, so I went ahead had lessons and was baptized at the age of 18. I married a Christian, my mother who was a Buddhist became a christian later on, and my brother (who is now dead) followed suit. From that time I did not look back. I had a simple but very strong faith, unshakable or so I thought.

As time passed, things began to change. I did not pray as much as I used to, and my faith was beginning to fail. I did not make the effort to go to church, even praying at home was becoming a ritual. Without my even knowing it, I had changed. Once I realized this, I started falling into great, almost manic depression. For no apparent reason, the smallest incident would trigger me off, and I would cry and cry like the thunderstorm and heavy rains we had. There was a terrible pain in my chest, which I could not account for. I would cry and say Paining Lord, paining. I did not tell my husband or children as I was sure they would not understand me. Outwardly I was crotchety, irritable, and I kept on losing my temper with everyone at home and at work. I did not realize what a horrible person I had become.

Then it came to a point where I thought that THERE WAS NO GOD. I reasoned to myself that God was a figment of my imagination. Someone must have made Him up long ago, and exaggerated versions of Him must have come down the line. I concluded that I was a fool to have ever believed in Him. This thought was the last straw. I felt such DESPAIR. I was lost, I did not know where to turn to or what to do or who to go to. Who do I pray to? Is there such a thing as praying? My mental torture went on and on. Then I realized we humans are NOTHING, NOTHING at all. I thought to myself that I may as well jump off the balcony. I still remember that moment, I was in my office and that nice big balcony on the floor I worked began to look so inviting. In my mind I must have walked to the edge and walked back many times. Despite whatever I was felling and thinking, somewhere deep down inside me, I still believed that there was a GOD, and suicide was not right.

The next day, Marie, a good friend who works with me, came to see me. She saw the state I was in and reminded me that when my husband was sick he came to these Wednesday Prayer Meetings and changed. Referring to my brother-in-law Gerard, she said, You have a preacher in the family. Go to him, What are you doing? Then I thought, yes I will go to Gerard, but not for the meetings. I was very skeptical about the meetings, despite my poor brother in law's efforts to convince me. After we had a chat at home, I thought ok now I am ready to go, lets see what happens.

I came and listened to Brother Lalith preach for about two hours. Out of all the words spoken that day, just two sentences hit me. COME AS YOU ARE and GIVE THE TRUTH OF YOUR HEART TO HIM. I cannot remember anything else. I cannot express how much it impacted my life and my attitude. From that moment, every doubt went. I used to pray and tell the Lord, Give me a sign that you exist, I need to see you, I prayed May be if you answer my prayers, I will know you are there.. He did neither, but yet He restored my BELIEF.

MY FAITH is once more strong, in fact better, because now, even if He does not seem answer my prayers in the way I expect him to, I do not get disappointed in Him anymore.. I know that without Him I am NOTHING. I do not want to EVER have that AWFUL feeling again.. Praise the Lord and I really thank the Lord that he worked through Marie, Gerry, and Brother Lalith. Those two sentences were anointed indeed... that’s all it took.

Since then so much has happened in my life. For example, yesterday just before I came for the prayer meeting, my youngest daughter came and told me that she had crashed her maths exam. I was hopping mad. I was ready to have a big fight with my husband and say You are the one who brought us down from India, She was doing so well there. Then suddenly I thought Am I mad? There was a purpose for us having come back to Sri Lanka. I do not know why, I don't care either, it was God's will. He just used my husband to do it. So what? She can do the exam again. Then another time, the Road Development Authorities informed us that they are definitely going to take the road through our house. Those days this would have made me desperate. Now I just say, You take care of this Lord, just don't leave us homeless. Do you know what? He has already shown us two options. Not one, but TWO.

Similar to this, in so many small incidents "He" has shown me the POWER of his LOVE, and all because I gave myself to him TOTALLY.

Praise the Lord!